


Chat Noir Absolutely Loathes Adrien Agreste (by Alya Cesaire)

by bloodrunsred



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste Is a Little Shit, Based on a Tumblr Post, Exasperated Marinette Dupain-Cheng, F/M, Funny, Identity Issues, Identity Reveal, Inspired By Tumblr, Jealous Adrien Agreste, Oblivious, Oblivious Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Onii-Chan Episode, Paris (City), Protective Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Secret Identity, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-25 23:50:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18712216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodrunsred/pseuds/bloodrunsred
Summary: After a video discussing a few of Chat Noir's comments during Onii-Chan goes viral, everybody in Paris knows this simple fact: Chat Noir hates Adrien Agreste.





	Chat Noir Absolutely Loathes Adrien Agreste (by Alya Cesaire)

**Author's Note:**

> @thatgirlonstage on tumblr wrote a post describing a few things i wanted to work into a fic. it's a bit different from my normal writing style, and it's a bit short, but i hope it works anyway!

"Hey, Ladybloggers!" Alya speaks to her phone, adjusting her glasses until they sat on the very tip of her nose, "You're hearing it from me first - Chat Noir, Paris' beloved hero  _hates_ Adrien Agreste, Paris' beloved model! During the attacks by an akuma named Onii-Chan, Chat reportedly made a lot of comments regarding Adrien, and not in a good way. Let's talk to the bystanders - Lila Rossi was the target of this attack, so we'll start there."

"Hey, Alya," Lila says, sniffing a little, "it's true that Chat Noir was saying some really, really mean things about poor Adrien. Like, who does he even think he is? I get that he's a 'hero', or whatever, but Adrien doesn't deserve that. It reminds me of the time I was touring America with Jagge-"

"And our next speaker, Chloe Bourgeois!"

Chloe scoffs, flicking her hair over her shoulder, and trying to grab onto Alya's phone. The resulting scuffle lasts only a few seconds, Chloe letting Alya film despite the fact that the angles were,  _'Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous!'_

"As everyone knows, I  _did_ work with Chat Noir and Ladybug, and I am  _not_ surprised that he's jealous of my Adrikins. He's totally perfect and the best looking person in Paris. Next to me, of course. It goes without saying, but I decided to say it anyway, because some people just aren't as smart as me."

"There you have it!" Alya turns her phone around until it's facing her again, ignoring Chloe's yell of frustration with iron-clad will. "What do you think? Let me know in the comments below!"

The video stops. Hundreds of people play it again.

 

*

 

_ChatNoirFan26: im glad chat sees how overrated adrien ughreste is #teamchat_

 

_LuckyLadybug2: I feel like Chat is being a bit rude here. Does he even know Adrien? It just seems conceited to me._

 

_Hawkmothsuxx: aPparently they saved adrien from an akuma, maybe he was a jerk to them_

 

_ChatNoirFan26: guys obviously we should trust our hero's judgement lmao just drop it, case closed_

 

_LuckyLadybug2: I never really liked Chat anyway. Apparently he's a really snarky guy, this just proves it._

 

_AdrienAgreste4ever: CHAT SUX HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT HES TALKING ABT_

 

 **_TheOfficialLadyblog:_ ** _I don't want to have to restrict comments, keep the fighting in the DMs_

 

_*_

 

The next akuma comes only days after Onii-Chan, and is (this time) directed at Adrien Agreste. Unsurprisingly, considering the absolute war that's been sparked online. The akuma victim is a girl, dressed in a Chat Noir-esque oufit, with a leather skirt and big green love-heart on her chest. She wails and cries, and is absolutely ruthless towards Adrien for making her hero look bad.

"I'm Kitty Noir!" She screams, chasing Adrien back into his bedroom, "I'm going to make you apart of my blog!" 

And if her cat-laser gets pointed on anyone, they get featured on her blog with thirty followers. Joy.

"Kitty Noir!" Ladybug says, waving her arms desperately to get the akuma's attention. "Chat says he'd give you his miraculous and take a selfie with you, if you follow me to the Louvre!" Chat Noir freezes behind Kitty, his eyes open wide, like a deer caught in headlights. Ladybug briefly wonders what took him so long, but she shakes her head a tiny bit, unseen by the akuma who is having a quick discussion with Hawkmoth, if the purple butterfly over her eyes is anything to go by.

"Okay!" Kitty beams, before her face falls. "But Adrien..."

"We'll make sure he gets in lots of trouble," Ladybug assures her, "but don't you want to meet Chat?" She gestures for the akuma to go before her, before turning to the  _real_ Chat Noir. "Stay here with Adrien - I'll be able to handle her from here."

Chat's face falls but there's no time for arguments with an emotionally volatile akuma making her way to tourist-central. She can trust him and Adrien to get along, even if Chat supposedly doesn't like Adrien (but really, what's there not to like?).

But, when she spots Chat following her, her heart sinks. Does Chat really hate Adrien that much?

 

*

 

The video starts, shaky and blurry but it soon adjusts and sharpens as Alya gets a better grip. It's Ladybug and Chat Noir, having a row on a nearby roof. Alya's whispering a running commentary, describing the events that lead up to this fight.

"Basically, Chat Noir and Ladybug defeated that Kitty Noir girl," she says, "but according to Ladybug, Chat Noir was supposed to protect Adrien just in case she came back. I guess he really doesn't like Adrien, then."

"-on't try and spin this, Chat!" Ladybug is saying, arms crossed over her chest as she paces the length of the building. "Adrien is a civilian and could have been really hurt if the akuma came back! That's why I trusted you to stay and protect him from that!"

Chat is more sullen, kicking the roof as he says, "Doesn't he do a million sport things like fencing, and rock-climbing? he can look after himself, M'lady."

Ladybug almost growls in frustration. "The point is that he shouldn't have to look after himself if there is a hero that can specifically look after him!" She softens a tiny bit, and Alya zooms in to capture the expression on her face. "Look, it's okay to be jealous, or not like someone, but you still have to protect them. There's a lot of people I don't like, and I still protect them. I just expect the same from you."

Chat looks like he's choking on a lemon. "I - I understand, M'lady." He sweeps into a bow. "I'll do as you wish."

"I know you will," Ladybug says, "but I'm still just - I'm really upset over this, okay? So don't be surprised if I'm still angry by the next akuma."

They depart in equally flashy ways, Chat slower than Ladybug. Neither of them notice Alya, and that's probably because she's hiding in a bush, but she's still miffed she missed out on a wave for the blog. Schooling her expression, she flips the camera and says: "There you have it! Leave a respectful comment below, please - we don't want any more akumas!"

 

*

 

_ProfessionalConspiracist21: guys I just realised something, chat and adrien have green eyes and blond hair. do u think that theres an evil twin thing going on??_

 

_LadybugLove: I thought that Chat was a model and Adrien took his job or something like that. He is really fit._

 

_ChatNoirxoxo: not relevant but i heard @ChatNoirFan26 got her account taken away for the akuma thing so yeah be careful_

 

_TeamAdrienForTheWin: i think chat noir just hates celebrities? like he has some rebel vibe and i think he just really doesnt like any celebrity._

 

_CoolCat: nah, he saved jagged stone remember??_

 

_LaCoccinelle: i like the conpiracist theory, it's not like we can prove it tho._

 

_Yolo89: LMAO IMAGINE IF CHAT NOIR WAS ADREIN AGRESTE SKSKJSK_

 

_Porticiaheelu: LMAO IM CRYIN @YOLO89 YALL PLAY TOO MUCH_

 

_LadybugetChatNoir: Y'all are focusing on the wrong thing!! They're having a LOVERS SPAT!!!!_

 

_antiladynoir: they dont fit together stfu_

 

*

 

Adrien tries not to go online as much after all the arguments. Some of the theories are funny, but a lot of them are just  _weird._ He likes a good joke as much as the next person, but, really: Chat Noir's out to get the Agreste family? And all the arguments that rely on using his mother as proof of Chat Noir's supposed crimes, they're just sad. He's glad some of his fans agree with him, that the others are taking it too far, but that just starts even more fights.

He's in the middle of making another account to express his controversial opinions (and a few snarky comments), when:

_Knock knock!_

He's startled from his thoughts by someone knocking at his door, and he throws himself upright. Plagg snickers, flying off to go hide in his cheese cupboard; he finds this whole situation hilarious, and is trying to convince Adrien to go with it.

"Come in!" He says, hoping his voice isn't as annoyed as he feels. 

It's... his father?

Gabriel Agreste, in the flesh, is standing in the doorway. Adrien's doorway. What?

"Listen, son," why does his dad look uncomfortable? "I know that you might look up to - to  _Chat Noir,_ but I felt the need to remind you that his opinions of you don't matter."

"Father, no."

"I understand that it might be distressing-"

"It's not, I promise-"

"And I just want you to stay safe!"

Adrien blinks. That's actually really nice of his dad, but it's also really heavy considering they don't spend a lot of time together. "Yeah," he needs to make a joke, just to lighten the mood, "I'll try, but Hawkmoth just really hates me, you know?"

He's looking down as he speaks, so he misses the rare look of shock that crosses his father's face, but he looks up when Gabriel starts to talk again.

”I’m sure that... Hawkmoth cares about you in his own way, Adrien,” his father grabs his shoulders, staring into his eyes, “never forget that.”

”Oh...” Adrien says. “Okay.”

That was a weird thing to say, right?

"Sir?" They both look back to see Nathalie standing there, clipboard in hands. "You have a call in two minutes."

Adrien feels like he missed something really important, but is quickly distracted by making his new account. He's going to embarrass these losers with his intellect and in-depth knowledge about Chat Noir _and_ Adrien Agreste.

 

*

 

In the end, Plagg won.

And Adrien couldn't deny that it's fun to have an account for his super-hero persona. And it's actually really theurapetic to diss himself, and just laugh about it with other people. And he's technically not supposed to use his personal Instagram for personal reasons - model pictures only, of course - but he did post some teasing comments on his story regarding Chat Noir.

And, it actually made him more popular, which pleased his father a lot. And most of the comments Chat had said have been reduced to friendly teasing, a few things between friends. There are still a few sketchy things that people talk about, but it's been turned into the biggest joke in Paris. On one of their patrols, Ladybug even apologised to Chat, for assuming.

He burst out laughing of course, to Ladybug's embarrassment. "Why didn't you say anything, Chaton?" She scowled, as he tried to compose himself.

"I-" He tried. "It's an identity thing, M'lady, I'd tell you but I'd have to kill you!"

Turns out, Plagg gets very nauseous at laughing, and promptly threw himself out of his miraculous. The look on Ladybug's face was almost worth the scolding he got after.

Getting a girlfriend sure was worth it, though.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comment please!


End file.
